Friend - it’s been so long Since I did see you. Feel the wind blown merit. I’ll admit, I’ve been so terrified. I hope you have more to smile about, Even to cry about, Than I remember you did last time. Thinking of your old songs, You’ve got so much pride. Much more than I. But I know you always let yourself down. Don’t be sad - cuz I know tomorrow will come. And I promise you can borrow my lung To take in a breath of that wind blown merit. We never fought another boy To prove that we grew up Quicker than them, but maybe We should lift up our rock Display the passion that we hold I always hoped that your’s would save me. In our modest mob, you’re the consigliere Sometimes you scare me With all the destruction you put yourself through. We’re doing drinking - the supply in the dam is gone Such damage done. I stay in bed til one, But you hibernate til the moon steals the spotlight. We could have, maybe we should have evolved together In so many ways, we may never know. Did fate stop our growth? And next time we play will it feel the same? Lord, how am I supposed to pray, If it’s not through our songs? Could you lend my friend some lungs, To take in a breath of that wind blown merit. We never fought another boy To prove that we grew up Quicker than them, but maybe We should have lifted up our rock Display the passion that we hold Been thinking of that lately. We never fought another boy To prove that we grew stronger Than them, but maybe We should have lifted up our rock And thrown it in their face, Head back the way we came. Some say God is good, But I’m sure you’d say spineless.

Girl from the way you held my shaking body I knew there was no pressure to say sorry Ejecting all the loneliness by feeling loved Press me to the ground, show me heaven’s not above. After that, heaven might be a moment Or a momentary lapse of self-hatred and shame I’ll take it cuz when I was down there I realized I got a knife from hell’s kitchen swallowed deep inside. I take it out to protect myself and innocence like some people did me wrong and I need revenge So just in case we run into each other, the blade sharpened in my abdomen over the summer. But when the mercy is found, the story is gone, love is revealed, no need to say sorry, I was wrong. No apologies or poison to guzzle down, Cuz looking back I see I’ve done that run around. Last time it had me run right outta town. Dude from the way you pressed my quaking chest, Felt like we were running through a war zone With no vest, no weapons, only courage and faith That one day I’ll get out my own way. Running through the windows leaving glass impressions, Real time results of making glass decisions, Shared the sorrow and the crazed imagination, Screamed your name so I’m glad you listened. Hate is found adjacent to forgiveness and patience, It’s taken me so long to see they’re all related And acceptable to feel and feel them fade too, They come alive again under the same table, Under the smile. The pain, the desire for people to feel it with me, Building on the Right Fire. No more sad smoke or gasoline to drink down, Looking back they were thoughts I would think aloud. Building on the Right Fire.

You thought you were free for so long Free from money, free from time But now you only wanna be free from yourself. Your parents came to town, you saw that they were still alive And want you to do well, your mother reminds you of yourself An inhibition, a fence you thought you took down. And while you slept, they put it back up. A candle calls your woman home - she is far away. You’re left with questions, Your friends see how attached you are To the love you can’t give yourself. But at least she’s in your room And it smells good in there now. You’re curious about Ft. Worth, You wonder if it has to do with your worth. The clever machine has gotten savvy, And now you need your songs from three years ago. You’ll jam a pen into your arm, pretend the hurt is better than you You’ll let it guide you like it always have, If you can find your way out of a paper bag. But there is a secret you declare Your mouth won’t recognize who will be there to hear You try to step outside yourself Cuz you thought the future would be different. Speak in simple words to catch your own attention You know what the conversation with your roommate might be like, Sometimes you're scared you don’t have friends. Sometimes you truly do not fight for yourself. You are the king of yourself and you can’t see that There’s this wall you wanna break through And you can’t see what it looks like You cannot see what it looks like You feel the surface and the pulse is strong. Your arm does throb while the night is long. Your fingers tremble as you watch TV, and act like you’re blind To your own dignity. The move you’ve yet to make or think of is Tiny in comparison to what you really need. You might be a sweet grape in a hard shell, You come into the picture and you make it uncomfortable. Frameless is the glass that sits with sphere That sees the trouble you bring here You’re alone when you thought you’d be perfect. Wondering still about Ft. Worth Wondering still about your worth Wondering still about Ft. Worth. I’m wondering still about Ft. Worth Wondering still about your worth I’m wondering still about Ft. Worth.

Rolling around with my reasons, Making those glass decisions. Rolling right over shards, Feel those fast incisions. I think it’s make or break, I still see black and white. I know the sand is dripping Through my glass tonight. I can’t believe The ideas I make If anyone heard them, They’d make all the glass break I can’t share The ideas I have If somebody knew them They’d see why I think I’m bad. They all make those plastic assumptions The ones that melt away after some time. But if I make a glass decision, It can show me what’s really mine. And nothing is after I Make that glass decision The vase is overflowing with escaping. The flowers are growing to depart someday soon, One day I’ll pick them up and hand them over Surrender to what dirt there is In my throat and under fingernails Maybe they’d all stay clean only if I start re-piecing together What smashed into my life After I was making that glass decision That some day showed me what’s really mine. I’m tryna handle my life cycles, and at times I feel I’m tryna handle a psycho. Why do I treat this home like it’s my house of mirrors? Fluidly I will make my old way outta here.

So sorry for the way I had to leave you You’ll never visit me again in my cell. We never found that middle place where I could meet you Over time I realized I had to go meet myself. One glance in the mirror I don’t have to see When my eyelids shut you out, I’m gone. When I pulled that trigger I learned that I could be A design to desire, and believe. You held my neck too tight For the fear to devolve. I had doubts about that - maybe you could feel them. Oh well. I can’t think big when you see small, so small If I seem separate from where you left me, Well, you can bet I am… If I’m tolerating handguns to my forehead, Unloaded, but still painful to feel. I’m used to crowning queens until they’re naked When she nor I are ready to reveal. Still feel your fingers on my shoulders I was a soldier for you, you were a nurse for me. Wounds hurting all the time, you invited me in, It was all I could do to not rob the infirmary. We’re just people And I’m dividing scared and sacred 100,000 ways. We can be so evil And I’d appreciate if you don’t forgive me Cause nothing at this point would be considered foul play. (((Stuff it all away, my heart’s conviction A sacred place we both held dear No one’s taken your place, no testimony To explain the truth of your greatest fears.))) You held my neck too tight For the fear to devolve. I had doubts about that - maybe you could feel them. Oh well. I can’t think big when you see small, so small Baby, I can’t explain your greatest fears.

I didn’t wanna tell you. I didn’t wanna tell you, but I knew I had to. I wasn't gonna be honest with you for so long, And I had to look at those lies In my mirror. And I could see them for what they were When I Looked into my own Looked into my own eyes. And I didn’t wanna tell you I tried, I didn’t try. We're gonna die, but that doesn’t mean we have to kill. Walls in my neck, Danny let em crack, let it spill. Baby cover my throat I imagine you’ve tired Somehow I know I’m wired to take care of you better still. Thrillenials watering ego like sunflowers, Hard to see though, when we’re flying like a free throw, When I fall I wanna fall with total fuckin faith And I wanna know I can tell you all I wanna say. Fire sign in my thoughts and thighs dashing through the flames I didn’t wanna tell you and I did at the same time Fire sign in my shoulders and neck cuz I’m in flames Filled with lots of love and hate that I didn’t say. Fire sign fighting crime with my front teeth Silence was my shield, but I just wanted your trust in me. Fire sign got a truth that he gotta speak I find it in my eyes and tell myself you're not to see. Words in your throat Danny, set it free, let it fly. We're gonna die, but that doesn't mean we have to hide.

All this madness, madness and bitterness. The mad madness and bitterness. Gets me more madness and bitterness. The mad madness and bitterness. Gets me, gets me more mad and bitter. Wanting to, to learn, how to truly hold myself. Hold my own heart, hold my own body, so that I can do this for others. Hold my own heart, hold my own body, so that I can do this for others. Resist, resist, resistance I feel. Where's that coming from? Hold my own heart, hold my own body, so that I can do this for others.

Sleeping to dreaming To napping to waking Sleeping to dreaming To waking to see you. Slipping to falling To dreaming to see you Walking to running To you in my dreams, and Falling and falling And slipping and slipping Running and running and tripping and tripping. Driving and crashing And rescue and save you Loving and loathing And secretly hate you. Crying and crying, And send you a package. Lay on your bed and Get dust in your mattress... It’s raining in April, I'm longing for May. Snack on dark chocolate til I fall on the couch, Short on time, short on time’s running out. Tasting a version of you I once knew, Feeling aversions to things that you do. Things that you told me I’m running and slipping Away with my breath shallow lungs start ripping Stare at the floor and I still don’t see it I’ll call you my friend, in what way do I mean it? Call you my friend, in what way do I mean it? I’ll love you again, or at least we should hope so, Sleeping and dreaming, girl you looked so so Scared, in my eyes, asked me don’t run away We shouldn’t talk cuz I’m no fun today I know when you get me you want me dressed sharp And talking like a gentleman, playing my part But I just can’t fake it, pretend I should say hi. It’s raining in April, raining in April, raining in April. I’m longing for May skies. Lovely to see you and push you away. Treacherous dreams that I’m dreaming away. And I’d loved to forget a few that I’ve had, Those treacherous dreams ended up driving me mad. I’ve been trying to find a cure for my frightening nightmares, Open my eyes and you’re waiting for me right there. It’s April, it’s raining, I’m longing for May skies. It’s April, it’s raining, I’m longing for May skies. It’s April, it’s raining, I’m dreaming of saying hi.

A wild trying to figure it all out eclipses a natural rhythm Which was found through pure undomestication. All rays of light touched all purveyors of breath Dead and alive, in every way imaginable. Now I'm down the hill, imagining While that part of reality continues without a lie. Jumping across the river of blood I've created Raging with potential to devour my butterfly stroke. I ask myself for the first time: What is meant when someone says 'suspended animation'? I went out there to get dreamt. While the dream happened, no cartoon survived. Relentless romance and unforeseen mercy Cut the ropes tied around my fickle wrists. Typing the story for too long Leaves no room For landing on the other side of the river.